Sunday, September 24, 2006
~ Sunday, September 24, 2006 ~
I'm gonna die for my PMR.
Seriously.
And here I am, sitting in front of the comp, writing a blog entry, after spending one whole morning sleeping, on whole afternoon literally watching law of ueki and another half night in the surau for terawikh and back to the comp. Couldn't get online the whole day today...
Tomorrow's the start of Ramadhan. One whole month of fasting... Heh. And my birthday's not in it. MUAHAHAHA!!! It hasn't been in the fasting month for about three years already, but that meant spending my final years of childhood fasting during my birthday... which doesn't really create the best memories...
Ah well. The last time I had a birthday party at home was when I was a kid back at Singapore. I still remebered the wish I made, the things I did, although the only present I remembered was this keychain that... was it Kakak Anik or Pearta who gave it to me? Heh. It's been with me for more than half my life now anyway. Literally. Mathematically. And I hate math.
Well... That was the kid side of me. Now I couldn't care less for parties. Suffice to say, I kinda feel irritated by them.
1. Crowds. Too-many-people!!
2. I suck at socialising. To say 'hi' to every single homosapien I come across...I start feeling stupid.
3. MONEY. You know how MUCH you gotta spend on a birthday party?
4. ... I don't like being in the centre of attention in a large group. If its a small group of people listening to what I have to say, then it's fine. But... I-HATE-CROWDS!!!!
5. Ah... Because then no one expects anything out of... the party.
People change. I change. What used to be such a... longing now has become the butt of irritance. I hate socialising. It feels stupid. I start to feel stupid. The whole thing seems stupid. And there goes time out of the window.
And if I tell Aiman he'll start going on about me being an emo and stuff. THAT gets on my nerves as well. And if I tell him that I prefer the picture of a black forest with a red background instead of bambi and friends in their forest during spring, he says I've gone to the dark side. And he's the deafest person I have ever met.
How'd we sidetrack? Ah, yes.
PAH.
My PMR results might be going down the drain, but I won't give up... Not just yet, anyway.
Oh, and my grandma's dissing me off. Don't tell me she might die tomorrow and I'll regret it. Everyone says the same thing that THEY are starting to diss me off too. -_-"
See yaz. Might update in about two weeks time. That's when PMR ends.
